February 2011
67 posts
oh the weather outside...
is frightful. my fingers are tightly crossed for cancelled classes tomorrow. simply so i can make some warm blueberry pancakes and stay cuddled up in bed. yes please
20 great excuses for not getting anything done... →
things i watch people do everyday…ah the bliss of working in a coffee shop…
1. I don’t like this chair.
2. I’m tired.
3. I can’t remember what I am working on.
4. I’m simultaneously too warm AND too cold.
5. Adult attention deficit disorder.
6. Memories of childhood. So deep.
7. There are too many people fussing with chairs around here.
8. I’ve had too…
January 2011
46 posts
view from the backseat
i need to learn how to drive. i am over sitting the the backseat of other peoples lives. screw waiting til it is warm out. i need to learn now. i need to live on my time…and stop burdening others with the responsibility of me. the time has come the walrus said…to stop being so scared of not being in total control.
a year in review
played ado annie in oklahoma!, dated a lovely man who turned out to be not so lovely, went to disney world with my best friend, lost my beautiful dog huck finn to heart failure, produced and starred in john&jen, was accepted to indiana university, left nyc my beautiful home of five years, moved to the midwest, read the odyssey for the 14th & 15th time, got a job at the most wonderful...
“maybe you could show me how to let go,
lower my guard,
learn to be free....”
– stephen sondheim
here is a truth. i am unhealthily obsessed with...
failure
tonight i failed. not a test or a quiz or even a failure to show up. tonight i was bombarded with happy news. none for myself…but rather news of love found, risks taken and rewarded, agents signed, and show contracts in the mail. and while on the outside i was full of praise and kind words…inside my heart ached with jealousy. i was jealous that people were braver than i. jealous that...
“the point is that things aren’t beautiful all on their own. beautiful...”
– adam gwon “ordinary days”
emma
“if i loved you less, i might be able to talk about it more. but you know what i am. —you hear nothing but truth from me.” - emma
tonight i felt very productive as all of my homework for classes tomorrow was finished by six. so in honor of my productivity i made myself a pot of tea, a wee grilled cheese sandwich, and pulled out my new penguin edition of jane austen’s emma. i...
pommes frites
lovely friend katrina took me grocery shopping at target (pronounced tar-je of course) today. hence, tonight i had spaghetti o’s and fruit snacks for dinner. and while i love my inner four year old gourmet…i can’t help but miss some of my nyc culinary treasures. tonight i am missing french fries with parmesan peppercorn dipping sauce from pommes frites on the lower east side. you...
three years ago i sang this in a wee...
anybody want a peanut?
today will be filled with the princess bride, lovely pizza, handwritten letters, jane austen, eco friendly cleaning products, hot baths, and loads of warm laundry…
“the rhythm of the weekend, with its birth, its planned gaieties, and its announced end, followed the rhythm of life and was a substitute for it.” ~f. scott fitzgerald
“the reality of the other person lies not in what he reveals to you, but what he...”
“when we die, we will turn into songs, and we will hear each other and remember...”
“what i want is to be needed. what i need is to be indispensable to somebody. who...”
WARDROBE
tomywife:
I wear plaid pretty much everyday-not in the hipster way, not in the lumberjack way…in the I always wear plaid way. My plaid is at your disposal.
hmmmm….this sounds oh so familiar
heartland
there are some moments that are so lovely they ache. then, if you are someone like me, you wish they had never happened. you wish this, of course, because they inevitably open a door that you know you should not have touched…let alone opened. that moment becomes etched into the wee back corners of your mind and suddenly, and uncontrollably, there are reminders. reminders that pop up everywhere....
far away friend...
sometimes late at night i get a pit deep in my stomach. its very rare that it happens. it feels like insatiable hunger. like maybe if i ate some leftovers i would fill the hole with just enough carbs to lull me into a deep dream state. sometimes, the cold pizza in my fridge works…but other nights, like tonight…i know the knot is about more than food. the trouble, on these long nights, is that i...
caution: if you trade in your authenticity for safety, you may experience the following: anxiety, depression, eating disorders, addiction, rage, blame, resentment, and inexplicable grief.
reminder
i was thinking about you today. i was walking on the block on 48th street between 9th and 10th. all of the sudden i realized that someone was laughing at me. i looked up and there was this little chinese man on his cellphone saying something that i couldn’t understand. he was chuckling at me and i realized that i had actually stopped to smell the roses he was selling. this, i thought, is not...
the city that never sleeps
i used to really love this place. there were days when i woke up thrilled. but after four years i think that any passion i had for it is gone. so gone. i have been here for three days and i feel suffocated stifled and broke. it is amazing to me how easily we fall back into unhealthy patterns. towards the end of my time here i found myself staying in my wee apartment ordering waytooexpensive take...